


Never forget you

by cas_is_an_angel_you_assbutt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Human Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Sad Castiel (Supernatural), Sad Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sad Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29141493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cas_is_an_angel_you_assbutt/pseuds/cas_is_an_angel_you_assbutt
Summary: After castiel takes in all the souls from purgatory he walks into the lake to his death. Dean and Sam stay at bobby's for a while and Dean is sent on a supply run. At the store he bumps into a fit and healthy castiel. Castiel however doesn't recognise Dean and says that his name is Emmanuel. Dean is shocked and wants to know what has happened and how castiel is alive after watching him die. Sam and Bobby tell Dean to stay well away as is not castiel but Dean doesn't listen.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

Dean walked through the supermarket with a little basket in his left hand. Sam had asked him to go and get some food because Bobby was running low and he was hungry. He specifically asked for pasta, salad and an array of fruits. Sam was still pretty much bed ridden after going through some stuff with lucifer. He had been running around for a while without the soul but now he has it back. Before cas died he succefully got rid of the hallucinations sam was having from his time with lucifer in the cage. Dean sighed as he started to think about cas. After all he and the angel had gone through and he lost him, cas was his best friend and for the long time dean had started to think maybe...Maybe cas was more than that, it was too late to figure any of that out now, his angel was gone for good this time. Dean was looking at some fruits. It was full of colour. Apples, red and green. Pears. Pineapples. Mangos and so many more different fruits. He picked up a Pineapple. "Damn you sammy and your fruit fetishes"dean mumbled to himself

He put the Pineapple in his basket and looked to his right to get some more fruit. He saw a man dressed in light blue fairly tight jeans. He was also wearing a dark blue sweater over a white button up shirt.  
Who dressed this guy?  
Dean thaught. The man turned more so that dean could almost see his face. The man was smiling at something a woman stood next to him had said. Though dean couldn't hear.

'this guy seems familiar'

was all dean could think. Dean didn't notice he was fully staring at the man until he turned around and dean could see his face it cant be. The man made eye contact with dean.

Cas?.

Dean continued staring without even thinking about it.

This man is cas.

Cas is alive.

why is cas looking at me like that.

Cas looked away uncomfortably. Dean stopped staring and looked down at his hands. His heart was beating in his chest. This was cas, cas was there stood next to him. But he wasn't looking at him like cas does. It's like he's a different person.

Maybe after cas died Jimmy took over his vessel again.

No Jimmy is dead.

Then why is cas stood there right now?

What the hell is going on?

Dean was snapped out of his thaughts when the man who was technically cas walked up and tapped Deans shoulder.

"Do I know you?"the man asked

Dean just looked up into those bright blue eyes he knew were so familiar. Dean shook his head.

"I don't think so. I didn't mean to stare at you, you look like someone I used to know"

"Yeah I feel the same"

Both of them just looked at each other and then Dean coughed nervously.

"I'm dean"

Both men shook hands

"Emmanuel"

"Emmanuel?"dean asked

"Yes"he smiled

That made dean smile. He had rarely seen cas smile but here he was stood infront of him smiling.  
That's not cas, he said his name was Emmanuel.  
He's not your angel idiot.

dean shook his head at his thaughts.

"Are you okay?"emmanuel asked

"Yeah. Sorry"

Emmanuel looked at Deans basket and chuckled.  
"That's a lot of fruit"

"Oh yeah. It's for my brother. He's a real fitness and fruit kinda guy"

"Not like you?"

"No. I'm more of a pie or burger...kinda guy"

Emmanuel chuckled and dean looked at him smiling. Emmanuel then looked back up at dean and they looked into each others eyes. Emmanuel looked away once the woman he was previously talking to came over and hugged him.

"Who's this?"she asked sharply

"This is dean..."

"Dean Winchester"dean said and shook her hand

"It's nice to meet you. Do you know him baby?"the woman held tightly around Emmanuel's waist and dean felt that hint of jealousy. Even though he should'nt this wasn't cas, it can't be cas.  
This guy is Emmanuel. Or was it cas. Maybe it was cas but he just didn't remember. What the hell is happening today?

"No we just met today"emmanuel replied

"Okay. It so nice to meet you"daphne smiled and shook Deans hand "are you ready to pay babe, we have to get this barbeue ready?"

"Yes dear" Emmanuel replied to the woman. He then turned back to Dean. "We are new in town and we decided to have a barbecue to meet the neighbors. Do you live around here?"emmanuel asked Dean

"Oh...ye...yeah"Dean stuttered and rubbed the back of his neck" me and my brother are staying with a friend at the local garage down the street" 

Emmanuel smiled at Dean"maybe you would like to come to our barbeque, we are not to far from here and maybe we might need a garage one day" he laughed and made Dean's heart race stop Dean chuckled back.

"I could do that yeah, Bobby will sure give you a discount" Dean laughed in reply.

"Great! You are more than welcome to bring your brother and Bobby" 

"Thank you. They'll like that"Dean replied then stopped and wondered what the hell he was going to tell Sam and Bobby. Dean just realised he was starting right at Emmanuel who was starting back into his soul. Just like case always did.

"Great. Here's the address"Daphne pulled Dean of his that's as she handed Dean a piece of paper.

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow then"dean smiled at Emmanuel

"See you tomorrow"emmanuel replied and he and Daphne walked away.

Dean watched the leave and then walked as quick as he could to the checkout. He had to hurry back to Bobby and tell them about cas..emmanuel...cas....emmanuel/cas. 

Could this day get any weirder right now. Dean facepalmed, sighed and then walked to pay for all the rabbit food.

\-----

"Bobby!?"dean yelled as as he got into the house  
"Bobby you here?!....sammy?!"

"In here dean"bobbys voice came from the kitchen

Dean walked into the kitchen. Bobby and sam were sat at the table playing a card game. Dean put the bags of food on the counter and sat next to sam. He put his elbows on the table and his head in his hands.

"You okay dean?"sam asked

"I saw something weird at the store"dean sighed

"What like demons...vampires...what?"bobby asked feeling of little worried

"No"dean sighed and moved his hands from his face and crossed them on the table "I saw cas"

Sam sighed and then looked at Bobby. Bobby and sam gave each other a little look which they hoped dean didn't see, but he did.

"What?"dean asked

"It's been almost a month now dean since...well since you know? Cas is dead dean, he's not coming back...I'm sorry"sam said and put his hand on deans shoulder

"I know that sam. I was picking the fruit for you and he was there with a woman. He said his name was 'emmanuel' and he gave me this"dean handed sam the paper with the address on "he said he's having a barbecue and wanted to invite us"

"You told him about me?"sam asked

"Yeah"dean sighed"I was getting the fruit he taught it was for me I told him it was for my brother"

"I don't understand what's happening. Cas died. We saw him walk into that late. How did you even see him today?"sam asked and sighed

Dean got up and started pacing around "I don't know sam but it was him. He was there. Picking fruit with a... girl"dean rubbed his face with his hands.

"He said his name was emmanuel?"bobby asked

"Yeah. It's like he did'nt...like he didn't know who he was. I told him my name and he didn't remember me at all"

"So what are we going to do?"

"Me and sam are going to go to this barbecue, see what's going on with this emmanuel/castiel guy"

Dean sighed and sat back at the table but next to Bobby this time.

"What are you hoping will come from this dean?"bobby asked

"Are you hoping we can get cas back?"sam asked

Dean looked between both of them and then at his hands on the table "if it is cas maybe we can get him back. That's why we are going to the barbecue, to see if it is him. If not then I'll leave it alone, okay?"

Sam and Bobby both nodded. Dean left the room. He picked a pie up out of one of the bags he braught in after going to the store. He went to his bedroom and turned the TV on. The news was playing. He opened the pie box and started eating it. He sighed and started thinking about the situation.

"Cas, can you hear me?...you probably can't but I'm going to try anyway. Listen cas I don't know what's going on. I don't know if this emmanuel guy I met is you. I hope he is...then maybe..maybe I can get you back. I'm sorry about everything cas. I know why you did what you did. You were trying to do the right thing. I've done some pretty stupid stuff for the same reason. I was a dick to you for it and you didn't deserve that"dean sighed and rubbed his hand over his mouth "I'm probably just talking to no-one right now. I just...I miss you buddy. Maybe I'll see you soon"

Dean put his pie down and layed in his bed. He lied on his back and stared at the ceiling. All he could think about was cas....or emmanuel now as he should get used to calling him. Dean knew he would do anything to try and get castiel back. He just hoped that man was cas.

\------

Dean and sam arrive at the address in the impala. They parked out the front and dean took a deep breath.

"You okay?"sam asked

"Yeah"dean replied whilst not looking at sam

"Really? Because you look like a teenage girl before going on a date"

Dean glared at sam who just chuckled. They both then got out of the impala and started walking to the house.

"Just remember sammy. His name is emmanuel. Not cas"dean warned

"Yeah I remember dean. Do you?"

"what is that supposed to mean?"Dean asked defensively

Sam stopped and held his hands at if to surrender"I'm just saying dean. Maybe this guy is just Jimmy's vessel, maybe it's not even cas"

"That's why we are here...remember?"

"Yeah"

They got to the door and Dean took a deep breath. Sam sighed and then knocked on the door. Shortly after the door opened and daphne answered.

"Oh dean you made it. Is this your brother?"daphne asked

"Yeah. This is sam. Sam this is....i never even got your name"

"It's daphne. I'm emmanuel's fiance"daphne shook sam's hand

"His fiance?"dean asked

"Yeah. This is our engament party. I thaught it was weird that he asked you to be here. No offence of course it's just that he only met you yesterday is all"

"Yeah. None taken..i think"

Daphne let dean and sam in and then led them out into the back yard. They got to the large yard. Their was a barbecue in the corner. It has a porch and then a fairly large grass area. Their were white tables and chairs scattered sound. People were everywhere. Daphne left dean and sam to go and talk to an older couple.

"I can't believe she's his fiance"dean sighed

"Are you jealous?"

Dean scoffed "of course I'm not jealous. This guy night not even be cas. Even if it was cas why would I be"

Sam looked around and then dean noticed emmanuel/castiel walking over. He was wearing a white shirt which was pretty much showing all of the muscles in his arms, chest and shoulders.

"There he is sam"dean nudged sam's elbow with his own

Sam looked to where dean was looking and saw emmanuel walking over. He had his eyes focused on dean who was looking right back. Sam looked between both of them slowly. Emmanuel reached them both and smiled at both of them.

"You must be dean's brother?"emmanuel asked and held out his hand to shake

"Yeah. I'm sam"

Both of them shook hands. Emmanuel then turned back to dean who was smiling at him.

"Hi. I'm glad you came"

"Yeah"dean smiled and then caught nervously after feeling sam's eye on him "So this your engement party huh?"

"Yes. Me and daphne haven't been together long but she saved me so we are getting married"

"Saved you?"sam asked

"Yes. It's a long boring sorry. Do you want some food?"

"Sure"

Dean and sam followed emmanuel to the buffet table. They all picked up paper plates.

"The burger's are there dean. You said you like those"emmanuel said and pointed the burgers to dean

Dean smiled and then picked one up.

"Emmanuel could I maybe talk to your fiance?"sam asked

"Sure. She's very interesting to talk to. I'm sure she will love to get to know you sam"

"Right. I'll leave you both to it"

Sam walked away and sat with daphne. Dean and emmanuel took a seat on the edge of the porch. Dean had a burger on his plate, it had a sesame seed bun and had ketchup and cheese on it. Emmanuel had a burger with lettuce, tomatoes and cheese, dean thaught it was an odd combination, but that was cas after all...or emmanuel, whatever.

"Are you sure we don't know each other?"emmanuel asked

"Maybe we've seen each other around before. Or maybe I just have one of those faces"dean smiled and looked at emmanuel

Both of them looked at each other for longer than necessary just like cas used to with dean.

"You look so familiar. When we talked at the store, I felt like I'd known you forever"emmanuel sighed

"Yeah.....wierd"Dean replied and looked down at Emmanuel's lips picked his own then faced back to the burger in his hands.

Emmanuel nodded and dean took a bite of his burger.  
"So what did you mean when you said daphne saved you?"

"I walked out of a lake one day. No memories, no clothes, nothing. She took me in, got me some clothes, fed me. She took care of me, let me live with her. We just kindof got close and she asked me to marry her so here we are"

"How long have you known her?"

"About a month"

"So you have no idea who you were before you walked out of the lake?"

"No. Maybe I knew you then"

Dean sighed, he could do early tell Emmanuel who he was and how he does know Dean, but how would he ready, would he not ground Dean? Would he never want to see Dean again, he couldn't risk it. So Dean replied "I don't think you did. Maybe we saw each other around or something and that's why I feel familiar to you" 

Emmanuel nodded as he looked at dean "daphne said that God braught me to her. She calls me an angel"

Dean s half smiled and nodded.

"Do you believe in angels?"emmanuel asked and dean looked him in the eyes and paused. What do I say now? I can't say I do because he'll ask why. I can't say no because I do believe in them.

"Urmm. Yeah....yeah I do"dean quickly replied and looked away from emmanuel

Emmanuel nodded and began eating his burger.  
"Do you have a wife dean?"

"No"

"Girlfriend?"

Dean grinned "are you asking me out?"emmanuel looked uncomfortable so Dean cleared his throat "I'm sorry that was inappropriate. No I don't have girlfiend. It's just me, Sam, Bobby and the family business"

"Oh yes, the garage"emmanuel smiled "Do you think..Maybe you and i could be friends dean?"

Dean smiled and nodded "I'd like that"

Dean and emmanuel looked at each other smiling. Both of them nodded slowly. "Me too"emmanuel smiled

Dean was so focused on emmanuel/castiels eyes that he didn't notice sam and daphne walking over. Sam called Deans name which snapped him back to reality. Dean and emmanuel both stood up. Daphne hugged emmanuel and kissed his cheek.

"Me and daphne had a nice talk. You sound like you have a nice little life here"sam smiled

"We really do"daphne smiled back

"You have some nice friends. Emmanuel, daphne told me all about how she found you. So you really don't remember anything about your life before the lake"

"Not a thing no"

"But that's okay because he has me and that's all that matters. I look after him"daphne snuggled her head into the space between emmanuel neck and shoulder "isn't that right?"

"Yes"emmanuel smiled and hugged her

Dean couldn't held clench his jaw at that, he didn't know who Daphne was our if she knew who cas was and maybe she was playing him, or maybe she did just fine him and everything Emmanuel had told Dean did happen.

"Do you have any drinks here?"sam asked

"We have wine over there"emmanuel pointed

Sam nodded and he dragged dean to the table where the wine glasses were. Dean picked a glass and drank some fairly quickly. Sam watched him.

"What is it sammy?"dean asked still not looking at sam

"Are you going to be alright?"sam asked and dean looked up at him

"Yeah. Why?"

"You just looked angry when daphne was hugging cas over there"

"Emmanuel"dean corrected sam

"Right"sam sighed "Well we know that it was cas now. He just doesn't remember who he was"

Dean nodded "mmhmm"

"So what are we going to do?"

"Try and get him back"

"What if he doesn't want to come back. What if he likes this life?"

"This isn't his life. This is 'emmanuel's' life. Sam I don't even think he loves her. She asked him to marry her and he was just too polite to say no"

"How do you know that he doesn't love her?"

"I asked him about her, and I don't know Sam" dean shook his head and took another drink "it's cas and this just doesn't add up. No one walks out of a lake with amnesia and just agrees to may some woman who let him in her house plus, did you see how she spoke to us. It's like she knows who we are, what we are, and she doesn't want us to get cas"

Sam nodded and drank his drink. He and dean continued to talk to everyone at the party. All of them were daphnes friends of family. The say the hadn't met emmanuel until that day. Dean didn't like this one bit. He didn't like how daphne acted. She acted as if she did know them, that was strange because dean had never met her. If she did know then, why was she trying to get to cas.

Maybe she's an angel. Maybe she's a demon. Maybe she just actually does love cas and doesn't like way you look at him

Dean groaned and sat down at a table on his own.


	2. Never forget you chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean struggles to leave Emmanuel alone. Sam tells Dean that he's making a mistake when Dean starts texting Emmanuel. The song towards the end of this chapter is marketed with *. The song is called sorry by Jack garret.

Dean and sam had drove back to Bobby's house In silence. They hadn't spent long at the barbecue because they had their answer. Emmanuel was castiel, just with no memories of his life. Once they got to Bobby house dean went right to his bedroom. Sam sat on the sofa with Bobby.

"So what happened?"bobby asked

"Well it's cas alright. Just with no memories"sam replied

"Hmm. How is dean coping with that?"

"Not good Bobby. 'emmanuel' is engaged to a woman named daphne. The same girl from the supermarket"

"What?"Bobby asked shocked

Sam sighed "After cas walked out of the lake, with no memories. She took him in, fed him, gave him clothes and she let him move in with her. She asked him to marry her and he said yes. Dean doesn't think that emmanuel/cas loves daphne"

"Really"

Sam nodded "You should have seen him Bobby. He was jealous when she touched emmanuel"

Bobby chuckled "i can imagine"

"You know what the crazy thing was? Cas has no memory of me or dean or his angel life. Yet, him and Dean acted like they used to, like they were still cas and Dean" Sam now sighed and rubbed his hand over his face"Emmanuel looked at Dean like case always did..."

"Like the sun shines out of Deans as" Bobby finished for Sam

"Exactly"sam laughed

\------

Dean layed in his bed. He had gotten emmanuel/castiels number. It was actually emmanuel who insisted that he give dean his number just in case.

Emmanuel: hello dean

Dean: hi Emmanuel.

Emmanuel: how are you?

Dean: i thaught you would only message me in case of emergency?

Emmanuel: this is an emergency. I'm bored. Daphne is asleep.

Dean: so I'm your go2 huh?

Emmanuel: I do not know what that means dean

Dean: doesn't matter.

Emmanuel: okay :)

Dean: is that a smiley face?

Emmanuel: yes :) :) here's two of them

Dean: well thank you for those ;) how about a winky face

Emmanuel: I am laughing out loud and almost woke daphne

Dean: then don't laugh so much ;D

Emmanuel: what is that face?

Dean: that's a happy winky face.

Emmanuel: I like that one ;D

Dean: me too  
Dean: hey. Can I ask you something?

Emmanuel: of course

Dean: do you want to come and meet my friend Bobby tomorrow. You could come here and we could have a few beers, you know, now we are friends and all.

Emmanuel: I would love that dean.

Dean: great :D do you want me to pick you up?

Emmanuel: that would be nice. Yes. I have to visit daphne parents in the morning so in the afternoon?

Dean: 4pm?

Emmanuel: sounds wonderful

Dean: great. I'll see you tomorrow then.

Emmanuel: goodnight dean. See you tomorrow.

Dean smiled and set his phone down on his nightstand. He hated that cas didn't remember who he was but he was becoming friends with him all over again. however he knew he had feelings for castiel. It was difficult to control them around this cas, because it wasn't cas, not really. He used to think that maybe cas wants him too. Not now, this cas is happy, this cas has a life, this cas could never want dean.

Dean sighed at his thaughts and then went downstairs to drink and eat with Bobby and sam for a while.

\------

Dean pulled up in the impala outside emmanuels house. He text him to let him know he was there. Emmanuel came out seconds later with daphne. She kissed him and then he waved a he began his walk to the impala and to dean. Dean smiled as emmanuel got in the car.

"This is beautiful car"emmanuel smiled as he looked around baby.

"She is isn't she?"

"Your car is a she?"

Dean looked over at Emmanuel and smiled"Yep. Her name is baby. She was my dads"

Dean began driving and he noticed emmanuel staring at him from the passenger seat. Dean looked at him quickly and then back at the Road.

"Everything alright?"dean asked

"Yeah"emmanuel clearly his throat "I'm sorry for staring. I still can't shake the feeling that I know you"

Dean chuckled.  
"Well you know me now. We're friends right?"

"Yeah. I mean. I feel like I really know you. Like ive known you for a long time. Like we were close. I just can't place you anywhere. I wish I knew"

"Well you don't know me, not really anyway. Maybe we can get to know each other now. A fresh start for you"

"Did I know you dean?"

Dean looked at cas for a few seconds. He thought about just telling cas who he really is, what he did. About heaven, about his life with dean and sam, everything. But he just shook his head.

Not long after they pulled up at Bobby's house. They got out and walked towards the door, side by side.

"So this Bobby is your friend?"emmanuel asked

"Yeah. For as long as I've known he sort of always looked after me and sam. After my dad died. He was the one that was there for us. He's practically our dad now anyway"dean and emmanuel both chuckled

They reached the door and walked inside. They got to the living room and sam was sat on the sofa.

"Hey. Emmanuel what are you doing here?"sam asked as he stood up

"Dean invited me to spend some time with you all and meet your friend bobby"emmanuel replied

Sam smiled and then looked at dean with raised eyebrows.  
"Bobby!"sam yelled

Bobby walked down the stairs and then paused once he saw cas. He smiled and then began to walk slowly towards him.

"Hello there"emmanuel smiled

"Hi. Emmanuel was it?"

"Yes. Dean told me about you"

Emmanuel and Bobby shook hands.

"Yeah. Likewise"Bobby replied

Emmanuel looked at dean and smiled. Dean smiled quickly at him before looking back at Bobby.  
"Beers?"he asked

"Kitchen"bobby pointed

All of them walked into the kitchen and sat at the table. Dean and emmanuel on one side. Sam sat opposite emmanuel and Bobby opposite dean.

"So dean tells me you have a case of missing identity?"bobby asked

"Yes. It's like i had a whole other life that I know nothing about. I wish I knew who I was"emmanuel replied"maybe I'm some top secret spy..or maybe I work for the men in black and they took away my memory so I didn't tell anyone about aliens"

Dean looked over at emmanuel and laughed. Emmanuel caught his eye and laughed softly.

"That would be cool"sam laughed

"Yeah it would be"

Dean sighed and sam patted his shoulder.  
"So its just you three here?"emmanuel asked

"Right now yeah"dean replied

"Did there used to be more?"

"Yeah. We used to have a friend who we hre with us a lot, you know helping out with the family business. He actually lived somewhere else but he spent most of his time here"

"What happened to him? If you don't mind me asking"

Dean sighed and then looked at Bobby for a second. Bobby smiled sympathetically.

"He died"dean said whilst twisted the bottle in his hand

"Oh. I'm sorry dean"emmanuel said sympathetically and put his hand on Deans shoulder, right where the handprint cas left on him used to be. Dean smiled and looked at the hand. Emmanuel took it off and dean swore he could see him blush slightly.

"Thank you"dean smiled

"What was his name?"emmanuel asked

"His name was castiel"sam replied for dean

"Castiel? That is a nice name. He meant to lot to you three?"

"He was special yeah. He wasn't just a friend he was family. Nothing more important than that"dean said

"Do you miss him?"

Dean stared at emmanuel for a few long seconds before he nodded "Yeah I do"

"I'm sure he misses you. He's probably in heaven watching you, do you believe in that type of stuff?"

"Yeah"all three of them said together. Emmanuel laughed and everyone joined in.

Sam noticed the way Deans eyes lingered on emmanuel/castiel as he laughed. That made sam smile even more. He's watched dean pine and long over cas for a long time. Then he watched dean grieve over losing him to the leviathan. Now it's like he's watching dean fall in love all over again. He knew though, this would end in sadness and heartbreak. Because cas didn't know who he really is but dean does. If emmanuel ever returned Deans love it wouldn't be real because it's not cas and dean was in love with cas. Dean didn't even have to tell sam or bobby that for them to see it in the man's eyes, it's the same thing they saw in cas' eyes too.

\-----

The next couple of days dean and sam were working a case. Just a quick salt and burn, nothing difficult, no near deaths. Though dean did end up with a scratch on his wrist leading to his thumb, nothing serious though. He got it after a ghost threw him into a wall where dean caught his hand on a nail in the wall. Luckily sam burned the bones in time before any serious damage was done to dean. The day they returned to Bobby's house they spent resting, eating and sleeping. After four days of not seeing or speaking to emmanuel dean decided to text him.

Dean: hey emmanuel. Just checking that everything is okay. Haven't spoken to you in a while

There was no text for a few minutes. Dean went and sat on the sofa. He started tapping the side of his phone with his thumb. Sam was watching TV in the same room and noticed dean seemed nervous of worried.

"You okay?"sam asked

"Yeah"dean replied as if it was obvious

He looked at his phone and emmanuel had text back. He smiled and read it.

Emmanuel: I am fine dean. I didn't want to bother you, in case you didn't want to be my friend no more.

Dean: don't think like that, I've just been busy with work.

Emmanuel: what is your job?

Dean: I'm a hunter

Dean sighed as he replied before thinking about it. He should have said something else.

"Who are you talking to?"sam asked

"Cas"

"Emmanuel"sam corrected him

"Yeah right...whatever"Dean quickly repliedcehiost buying his thumb nail anxiously.

Dean looked back at his phone and continued talking to emmanuel.

Emmanuel: don't tell daphne that. She loves animals, she'll kill you if she knew :D

Dean: I just hunt ducks nothing major. And I won't tell her, wouldn't want her to kill me now would we.

Emmanuel: of course not.

Dean put his phone down and smiled in relief of sensual not sharing the hunter thing. Meanwhile Dean could feel Sam staring at him

"What sam?"Dean asked without looking at him

"How often do you text him?"

"Not often. Just when I want to talk. It's nothing to do with you sam"

Sam leaked forward how and leaned his elbows on his knees. "But it is dean. This is emmanuel, not cas. That's not cas anymore dean"

"It's still cas. Maybe I can get him to remember"

"Don't you think he would have remembered something by now"

Dean sighed and leaned back on the couch. Bobby walked in with burgers. He sat next to dean and couldn't help but notice the tension in the room.

"What's going on?"bobby asked

"Sam's getting all jealous because I was texting cas"dean replied

"Emmanuel"sam corrected him

"Will you two stop arguing. You're like an old married couple"bobby sighed

He handed a burger to sam and faced dean.  
"Dean, what are you trying to accomplish my talking to that boy?"

Dean sighed and rubbed the palms of his hands in his eyes.  
"Nothing. Why can't I be his friend?"

"We're not saying you can't. Dean, listen. He's cas, I mean he's not cas but he was cas. You remember who he was and you'll always have those memories with him. However he doesn't remember, I don't think he ever will"

Dean stood up angrily "So what? I'm supposed to just give up on getting cas back"

"It's not giving up dean. It's letting him go"

Dean turned to walk out of the room "I wont"

Sam stood up and grabbed Deans arm turning him back around.

"We know how you feel about cas, dean!"sam yelled

Dean looked between sam and Bobby.  
"I don't know what you mean"

"Cut the bullcrap. I'm your brother dean, I know you better than anyone, anyone except cas, who incase you forgot has amnesia"

"great work there sherlock!"

"Listen dean. We know. I've been watching you with cas for years. The way you feel about him is written all over your face"

"You don't know what your saying"

Dean turned to walk away again but once more Sam pulled him back.

"Dean! Emmanuel will never feel the same. He's engaged, he's in love with daphne and he's going to marry her. You are just throwing yourself a heartbreak"

Dean sighed and actually got to walk away this time. He got into the impala and started driving. He drove for ten minutes before pulling up on the side of the road. He then pulled his phone out and texted emmanuel.

Dean: hey. Are you busy?

Emmanuel: not right now why?

Dean: wondering if you wanted to hang out

Emmanuel: of course

Dean: you don't have to if you don't want. I know you barely know me. I guess you're just the only friend I have. But you can say no ill understand.

Emmanuel: it's okay dean. I like being with you. You're my only friend too (with exception of sam and bobby, I guess) so shut up and come and pick me up

Dean: I'll be ten minutes :)

Dean chuckled to himself and then began the drive to emmanuel's house. Then dean drove them to a bar.

"Do you drink?"dean asked

"Only when daphne doesn't find out"Emmanuel laughed and Dean smiled at him

They both in a booth at the far corner of the bar. It was the quietest place and out of sight of most people. The seats were next to each other with a table infront of them. Dean ordered both of them beers and they sat drinking.

"What's wrong dean?"emmanuel asked

Dean couldn't help but stare into his eyes. It was like an ocean in his eyes, they were beautiful.

"I just had a big fight with my brother that's all"Dean replied sadly then took a sip of his beer

"Do you want to talk about it? It could help"

"No come on man! We are here to have fun, not talk about my problems"

Dean and emmanuel both clicked their glasses together. Dean started telling him about funny stories. He told a few about him and sam. Stories about Bobby, his friends. Told a few stories about cas too, he hopes that would help emmanuel remember, but it didn't. They just talked for hours and ended up fairly drunk. Emmanuel maybe more than dean, because dean was used to the drink whereas emmanuel was not.

"God I've been talking about myself for hours"dean laughed

"That's okay. I'd tell you about my life if I knew any of it"emmanuel said and both of them laughed

"What if you were this big...bad monster hunter?"

"Monster hunter? You have a great imagination dean"

*My nights are broken up by the sounds of women I'll never meet*

"Are they seriously playing this right now?"dean laughed

emmanuel stood up and held his hand out to dean.

"You are not making me dance to this"

"Why not? Are you afraid?"

dean gasped and faked being offended "dean Winchester is not afraid"

"Does dean Winchester always speak in third person?"

Both of them laughed and Dean took emmanuel's hand. He led him to the dance floor where there were already a lot of people dancing.

*And when my eyes are closed  
I can start to feel you  
Staring at me*

Dean and emmanuel stood infront of each other. Dean wasn't dancing so emmanuel grabbed his hands and started swinging them around.

*The right side of my bed  
Has always left me feeling stuck inbetween*

"I can't believe your making me dance to this song"dean laughed. He had to yell over the music.

Emmanuel came closer and put his head next to deans to talk in his ear. Dean felt his heart race. He could feel the man's stubble on his cheek.

"I'm glad I met you dean"

"Me too"

Emmanuel moved back away with a huge smiled on his face.

*Everything I know  
And all the lies I tell myself so I can sleep*

Emmanuel sang along to the lyrics and did hand gestures. All of this made dean laugh. He hadn't laughed like that in a long time.

"Anyone would think you listen to this song a lot"dean laughed and moved closer to emmanuel

"Of course not. Don't be silly dean"emmanuel said whilst laughing

*Pick up all the pieces you left*

Dean and emmanuel stared at each other still smiling.

*Let me worry about it*  
Let me worry about it

Their smiles started to fall as they looked deep into each others eyes. They looked more serious as they closed in on each other.

*Try and give yourself some rest  
Let me worry about it  
Let me worry about it*

Dean was about to stop and apologise until he felt emmanuel/castiel kissing back. Dean ran a hand up emmanuel's chest and shoulder until it rested on the back of his head.

"Dean"emmanuel said, breaking the kiss for just a second.

Dean moaned back into emmanuels mouth.

"Dean!"emmanuel yelled as he pushed dean back. "I am getting married in three weeks! Who do you think you are!?"

Emmanuel quick walked to the door of the bar.

"Cas wait!"dean yelled

He didn't stop he pushed his way out of the door. Dean didn't care that everyone in the bar was staring. He chased after cas but he'd already got in a cab and was driving away.

You idiot look what you've done now. You got too mixed up in your stupid emotions, now you've lost cas for good.

Dean kicked a trash can that was at the roadside. He ran his hand through his hair and felt tears falling from his eyes. He wiped them and started walking back to Bobby's


	3. Never forget you chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean returns to bobby's still upset from what happened during the night at the bar with Emmanuel. Dean decided to let Emmanuel go and do trying to get castiel back but when he goes to apologize to Emmanuel and instead of being sorry Emmanuel wants to stay as Dean's friend and forget about it, Dean decided to be friends with Emmanuel without trying to get him to be castiel. But Emmanuel tells Dean's that he's had dreams and when they are alone they can't help but get closer.

Once he got to Bobby's he didn't even want to go inside. He just sat on the porch, all alone in the dark. He sat like that for almost twenty minutes before Bobby walked out and pulled him up. He took him inside and layed him on the couch. Dean didn't want to lie down though, he couldn't sleep thinking about what happened so he sat up.

Bobby gave him some coffee which he gladly drank.

"What got you in this state boy?"bobby asked

"Cas"dean sighed trying to hold back tears "I've lost him bobby"

Dean began crying and Bobby moved to sit next to him. He rubbed Deans back as he cried.

"Why?"

"I took him to a bar and stuff happened and he ran out"Dean sighed through years

"Oh dean"bobby said quickly

Dean cried heavily so bobby hugged him.

"I taught I could get cas back and now I've lost him for good"

Bobby tried his best to soothe dean. Sam came down shortly after having heard some commission. He hugged dean and they stayed like that for a while. Sam then made dean lie down. Both sam and Bobby sat with him until he fell asleep.

"Do you think he's ever going to be okay?"sam asked

"I don't know"bobby replied

"What happened?"

"He said he and Emmanuel had a fall out and Emmanuel walked out, now Dean's upset because I think he's realised he not getting that damn angel back"

"I've been trying to tell him, maybe he'll leave it alone now."Sam whispered.

Bobby sighed and covered a blanket over dean.  
"We gotta do something. We have to help dean. Being with emmanuel/castiel has made him so happy. We need dean back. Maybe we can try a spell or something to get cas to remember"

"Alrighty Bobby, who look for something but we aren't guaranteed something will show up, we don't even know what's happened to cas"

Bobby nodded and he and Sam both went to their beds.

\------

The next morning Sam and Bobby tiptoed around the house, careful not to wake dean. Dean woke up at around noon. Once he woke up he got a beer and sat in the kitchen. He had one leg tucked to his chest and his chin on his knee as he looked out the window, he watched the rain as it hit the glass heavily. Sam walked into the kitchen and got a beer out of the fridge, he cautiously walked towards dean and gently put a hand on his shoulder.

"Me and Bobby were talking. We are going to look for a way to get cas back"sam said

Dean just stood up and sat back down on the table this time.  
"What if he's happy?"dean asked

Sam put his hand on Deans shoulder to try and comfort him. Dean squeezed his eyes shut to try and stop crying.

"What am I supposed to do sam?"dean sniffed

Sam patted Dean's back  
"What you think is best"

"I don't know what that is. I want to just let him go, let him live this life, but I cant...I can't let him go sammy"

"I know dean...I know"sam whispered

Sam say with dean for a minute before Dean left the room and walked to his bedroom.

Sam sat on the sofa with Bobby.  
"I don't know how to help him bobby"

"Me neither son"

Both of them sighed.  
"You think we can get cas back?"bobby asked

"I don't know. It would be nice, because we could get dean back too"

\-----

Dean walked down the stairs and headed towards the door. Sam and Bobby watched him as he started to leave the house.

"Where are you going?"sam asked

"To see emmanuel"

"Why?"

Dean turned around and sighed but didn't answer.  
"I'll drive you dean"

Sam drove the impala whilst dean sat in the passenger seat. Sam kept glancing at dean.

"What sam?"dean snapped

"I just.."sam sighed "what do you want to come of apologising?"

"I just want him to know that I'm sorry. I want him to keep living this life, I don't want you to get him to remember anymore sam"

"You're sure?"

"Yes"dean nodded "he's finally free. He's happy. He's getting married. I still want to be his friend though"

"And that's okay dean. Nobody is stopping you from doing that. You've been happy whilst being his friend and I won't stop you"

Dean nodded and sam smiled at him. They pulled up outside of emmanuel's house and began walking to the door when dean stopped.

"Sam...can you wait in the car please?"

"Of course"

Sam walked back to the impala as dean knocked on the door. It opened seconds later with emmanuel smiling but his smile fell when he saw that it was dean.

"You shouldn't be here"emmanuel sighed

"I had to apologise"

Emmanuel tried to close the door but dean stopped him.  
"You can't do this. Daphne is here"emmanuel whispered

"Just hear me out...please?"

Emmanuel walked out of the house and both he and dean stood on the porch.

"You have five minutes dean"

Dean took a deep breath "okay...I am sorry about what happened. I shouldn't have done it. I know that. It's just...."

Emmanuel hugged dean which took him by surprise. After they pulled apart they both just looked at each other.  
"You are a great friend dean Winchester. I know you are sorry, we were both quite drunk I guess"

Both of them laughed "yeah. We were"

"How about we forget it and go back to being friends. Like we were?"

"I'd like that"

"Me too"

Both of them just looked at each other smiling.  
"I should go...Sam's waiting"dean said

"Yeah. Daphne is waiting for me too"

"Right"

Dean started walking down the stairs.  
"Dean"

Dean turned sound and looked up at emmanuel.  
"Do you want to do something tomorrow?"

"I can do that"

"Okay"emmanuel smiled widely

"How about you come over to Bobby's?"

Emmanuel nodded.  
"See you tomorrow"

"See you tomorrow"

Dean walked to the impala and got in. Emmanuel watched until they were pu of sight and then went back into his house.

"Who was that?"daphne asked

"Just dean"

"What did he want?"

"To invite me over tomorrow"

Emmanuel sat on the sofa next to daphne and started drinking his coffee.

"Are you going?"

"Yes. Is that okay?"

"Yeah. I mean I can't stop you. Its just that, we have a wedding to plan"

"I haven't been much help anyway. You and your sister do most of it"

"Your right. I just miss you when you're gone"

She started to stroke his chest.  
"I know... me too"

Daphne moved to kneel next to emmanuel. She kissed him and started to undo his shirt.

"Daphne"emmanuel stopped her

"You're right. Im sorry"she said as she moved away.

"No its okay. It's just you have your rule. We have to wait until we are married"

She nodded and kissed his cheek.

\----

"That looked okay"sam smiled

Dean smiled back and nodded "yeah...he just, forgave me"

"That easily?"

"Yeah"

"That's good"

"I know"dean chuckled "He's coming over tomorrow"

"Alright"sam smiled and nodded

\-----

Dean had picked up emmanuel and they drove to a diner to get some burgers and pie and then they drove to Bobby's house. On the way they started listening to music and dean turned it up.

The song you shook me all night long by AC-DC was playing.

As the music played dean bopped his head whilst biting his bottom lip. He looked at emmanuel and they both laughed.

"You like your AC-DC?"emmanuel asked

"Oh yeah"dean laughed

"She was a fast machine. She kept her motor clean. She was the best Damn woman that I ever seen"dean sang

"She had the sight less eyes. Telling me no lies. Knocking me out with those American thighs"dean smiled as he sang and rubbed his thigh. Emmanuel laughed with him as he sang "taking more than her share. Had me fighting for air "dean sang and clutches his chest "she told me to come but I was already there"

Both of them laughed together

"Cause the walls started shaking. The earth was quaking. My mind was aching. And we were making it and you-"dean kept singing

"Shook me all night long"both of them sang

Dean was taken by surprise when emmanuel joined in. Both of them laughed again as they continued to sing and drive to Bobby's house.

\----

Once they arrived they walked into the house. Bobby and sam were both in the kitchen leaning on the counter and talking.

"Hey"dean smiled

Both Bobby and sam smiled. Dean handed out burgers to everyone as he hummed the tune to the song he and emmanuel were singing to.

"You're happy"sam pointed out

"It's a good day sammy"dean relied smiling

All of them sat down and started eating their burgers. They talked a lot about their life, telling emmanuel lots of stories of prank wars.

After a few hours dean decided to take emmanuel for a tour of the yard as he hadn't seen it before. As they walked out of the house and over to the garage dean noticed emmanuel was humming the tune that they were both singing to in the car.

"I've got that song stuck in my head"emmanuel laughed

"You should play it at your wedding"dean joked

Emmanuel nudged Deans shoulder with his own "Yeah like. Have her walk down the Isle to it"Dean kept laughing

"That would have up be highway to hell"emmanuel joked and both of them laughed

Dean took him into the shed which had a few cars in there. Emmanuel noticed an old vintage pickup truck. It was fairly old and was probably rusty, but boddy had restored it and it was now a glistening greeny blue colour. Emmanuel walked around it and stroked along the bonnet, dean watched as he glided his hand over the smooth metal. Then dean leaned on the side of the truck with his arms folded.

"This truck used to be Bobby's friends. He died so Bobby took the car and renovated it in his memory"dean explained

Emmanuel reached the back of the truck.  
"Rufus?"he asked

"Yeah. That was his friends name"

"So he called the truck Rufus too?"

"Yeah. You have something against people naming their vehicles?"dean chuckled

"Not at all"

Emmanuel came and stood infront of dean now.  
"Your car is called 'baby' am I right?"

"You are correct"

"Why 'baby' and not...I don't know... something like.... susie?"dean shook his head as he laughed

"It just kind of stuck. I just kept calling her that"

Dean unfolded his arms and pushed himself up of the truck but stayed stood by it. Emmanuel was stood close to dean and was half smiling at him.

"Do you have a car?"dean asked

Emmanuel shook his head and smiled "I don't remember how to drive. Daphne does not have a license either"

Dean nodded and emmanuel moved slightly closer. Dean would usually be uncomfortable with how close they were but somehow he was okay with it. Maybe because in a way, it's was just cas.

"Dean. I'm sorry"emmanuel sighed

"For what?"

"Running out after you kissed me"

"I thaught we were going to forget that"

"I know. I just wanted to you to know. I didn't run out because you kissed me, I ran out because I was afraid"

"Afraid of what?"

"It's difficult to explain. It's like whenever I see you, there's this voice pulling me towards you"emmanuel sighed and turned away. "I know it sounds cheesy"he turned back to face dean but stood further away "I think I'm starting to remember how I was. I feel like there is someone out there, someone who misses me, someone is waiting for me dean...thats you isn't it?"

Dean that for a second, he wanted Emmanuel to know everything but he had told Sam he wouldn't try to get him to remember anymore but he couldn't our to Emmanuel so he nodded and closed his eyes. "Are you angry?"

"No"

Dean looked back up at that and smiled as he saw emmanuel smiling. Emmanuel took one small step to dean.

"I see you in my dreams. I have dreams about meeting you in a barn. You stabbing me, but me not dying. Strange things like that...but that's not dreams is it dean. Those are memories"

Dean nodded again"im sorry"

"I'm not. I want to remember you. When we kissed, all these memories came flooding back to me. I've been waiting for you dean"

Dean took a step to emmanuel and held his wrist. Emmanuel looked up at him and also took a step closer. They both stared into each others eyes. Emmanuel took dean hands from his wrist and locked their fingers together. Both of them smiled and then dean put his hand on the side of emmanuel's face. Emmanuel jumped forwards and kissed Dean.

Dean moved back as emmanuel gently pushed him until he was pressed against the truck. Dean opened the door and pulled emmanuel inside. Emmanuel lied down on the seat and dean hovered over him.

"I'm not sorry for kissing you"emmanuel smiled

"Yeah? That makes two of us"dean smiled back and kissed him again.

Emmanuel was the first to start taking off deans shirt.

\-----

Hours later emmanuel had gone home. Dean lied on his bed and held onto his phone. He was waiting for emmanuel to text him, like he said he would.

Dean knew that sleeping with emmanuel was wrong because it wasn't cas. Even though he said he was beginning to remember, which was great. He still slept with him whilst he was engaged. Emmanuel was going to break off the wedding but dean had told him not to. He didn't want sam to find out that he was sleeping with emmanuel. he wanted to take it slow and then tell sam and Bobby. Then also emmanuel would leave daphne, before they got married.

Dean rubbed his face with his hands. he was snapped out of his thaughts when his phone buzzed.

Emmanuel: daphne is asleep

Dean: good. Can I ask you something?

Emmanuel: technically you already did, but yes.

Dean: have you slept with her?

Emmanuel: no, she believes we should be married first

Dean: oh. Sorry for asking :(

Emmanuel: don't be. It's okay

Dean: good...so what are you doing?

Emmanuel: thinking

Dean: oh yeah. About what?

Emmanuel: that beautiful truck you showed me today.

Dean: oh really. Did you get a good enough view of the inside?

Emmanuel: I don't think so. I was too focused on the handsome guy that was straddling my lap, I can't remember who he was, have you seen by any chance?

Dean: Hmmm you're unbelievable

Emmanuel: yeah. That's what you said last night.

Dean: make sure you delete these texts. Don't want your bride to be seeing them.

Emmanuel: I will do dean. ;)

Dean put his phone down for a few seconds. He started thinking if it was wrong what they were doing.

Dean: hey, are we doing a bad thing by doing this?

Emmanuel: yes. But it doesn't feel bad.

Dean: I know what you mean.

Emmanuel: well I am wise

Dean: yes you are.

Emmanuel: I'll talk to you tomorrow dean

Dean: okay :D


	4. Never forget you chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Dean and emmanuel start getting closer. Dean less to Sam about seeing emmanuel. Then Dean makes a hard decision about letting emmanuel go.

A few days later emmanuel was doing shopping and he asked Dean to join him. They went to the nearest store. Dean grabbed a shopping cart and when the Isle was empty he lifted his feet up and wheeled down the Isle. Emmanuel laughed at him.

"So what is daphne doing anyway?"dean asked

"She is at work"emmanuel replied

"What does she do?"

"Works at the church"

Dean nodded. He and emmanuel kept walking down the Isles, dean spotted a bed on display.

"Hey, watch this"he said before belly flopping on the bed

"Dean. You can't do that"emmanuel laughed and dragged him off the bed

"Who cares?"

"You could get into trouble"emmanuel smiled as he held Deans hands and pulled him back to the trolley. "Now push the trolley like a good boy"

"Are you trying to seduce me?"dean joked and winked at emmanuel

"That depends, is it working?"

"I'd take you right now if we weren't in public"Dean practically growled towards emmanuel

"Then you'll just have to be patient won't you"

Dean kept pushing the cart as emmanuel put things into it. They paid and then put the things in the trunk of the impala.  
"Alright. Let's go"dean smiled

"Dean wait"emmanuel stopped dean from turning the car on.

"You okay?"

"I need to tell you"emmanuel paused "daphne has booked the wedding for next week"

"Oh" Dean sighed and looked away. "Do you even want to marry her?"

Emmanuel sighed and held onto Deans arm and then made dean look at him "I'm so confused. With you I'm a different person. When I'm with you all I want it to stay with you forever. Then when I'm with her, I'm just this person I've been told to be and I am being told that I'm to marry her"

Dean stared at emmanuel for a long time. Emmanuel was playing with his hands. "I don't remember my life before walking out of that lake. Yet every day with you turns me into a different person" 

"Is that a good thing?"Dean asked with raised eyebrows

"Is a great thing" emmanuel smiled at Dean" ever since walking out of the lake I've been told my name, I've been told what to do, where to be" emmanuel now grabbed dreams hands with his two hands" with you I have free will. I chose who to be, where to go and what I want to do"

Dean looked away for a second then looked back into the oven blue eyes of emmanuel"And what do you want to do?

"I want to kiss you"emmanuel's reply was more of a whisper.

Dean pulled emmanuel's shirt and kissed him. He leaned back so emmanuel was almost lied on him.

"We can't do this in the middle of the supermarket carpark"emmanuel chuckled

"Right"dean sighed  
"My place? Bobby and sam aren't home"

Emmanuel nodded and dean drove to Bobby's house. Once they got inside dean yelled out sam and Bobby's names, nobody answered so Dean dragged emmanuel up the stairs and to his room.

Once inside he closed the door and then pushed emmanuels back against it. He kissed him roughly and passionately. Both of their shirts were gone quickly and then dean spun emmanuel around and lied him on the bed. He lied over him and put one leg between emmanuels two legs. Their lips barely parted as they undressed each other.

\-----

Emmanuel had to leave quickly afterwards so daphne didn't suspect anything. Dean hated having to hide their relationship

is that what it even is?

Well you love him don't you...

The next morning dean went downstairs and started making breakfast. Sam and Bobby were already back after picking up a new car for Bobby to try and restore. They came back whilst dean was making breakfast and sat at the table. Dean was making bacon sandwiches. He smiled widely as he handed sam and Bobby the sandwiches. Then he turned on the radio as they all ate.

Dean bopped his head to the music as he ate his burger. Then he felt sam and Bobby's eyes on him.

"What?"he asked with mouthful of food

"You're very happy"sam said

"Had a good night"dean smiled

"Oh really. Did you go to the bar?"bobby asked

Dean paused "yeah. Yeah that's where I went, picked up a girl there"he lied

"Idjit"bobby chuckled and dean and sam laughed

All of them spent the day together watching TV and fixing up a few cars. Dean tended to 'baby' for a while.

\------

The next day emmanuel asked Dean to go over so he lied to sam and Bobby and told them he was seeing the girl from the bar. He pulled up outside the house and walked up the door whilst smiling widely. He knocked on and through the window he could see emmanuel walking to the door. He but his bottom lip and once emmanuel answered he pulled dean by his collor and kissed him. He pulled him into the house and then looked the door as they kissed.

"Well hello"dean smiled as they pulled apart

"Hello dean"dean heart skipped as emmanuel said those words

"Can I smell pie?"dean asked as he sniffed up

Emmanuel nodded and then walked away to the kitchen. Dean followed and saw that the kitchen was a little bit of a mess. Emmanuel had been making a pie.

"You baked? And also had a whole flour factory poured in here"dean laughed as he the flour everywhere.

"Yes. I wanted to make you a pie, I don't really know how to bake, so I baught one after many failed attempts"

Dean smiled and nodded in agreement.  
"What flavour did you buy?"

"Cherry"

Emmanuel leaned on the counter next to the pie. Dean walked over and kissed emmanuel.

"Pie first"emmanuel smirked

"You're such a tease"

Emmanuel handed dean a fork and dean tasted the pie. He made a pleased face and emmanuel laughed.  
"Nice?"he asked

"Hmm. Very"

Dean held up some for him and emmanuel ate it.  
"You're right"

"Where did you buy this?"

"The diner down the road"

Dean smiled Then leaned down and kissed emmanuel. Emmanuel moved his hand and accidently put it in the pie. He held it up and looked at in shock, dean laughed at him and the emmanuel rubbed his hand on Deans face getting cherry all over him.

"I can't believe you just did that to me"dean laughed

Emmanuel laughed and wiped his hand with some tissue.  
"Here let me help you"he smirked and walked back to dean

He licked Deans cheek getting all the cherry from there. Then he kept licking it off of him until it was gone.

Then he looked into Deans eyes and both of them smiled at each other.  
"You're so hot"dean kissed emmanuel roughly and then picked him up

He spun him around and sat him on the edge of the table whilst they undressed each other.

\-----

An hour later dean and emmanuel decided they should clean the kitchen before daphne returned. Emmanuel tried to tell dean that he would do it but dean wanted to stay.

As they were cleaning the flour and dried cherry juice from the counters. As they were cleaning emmanuel took out his phone and connected it to a speaker.

The song highway to hell by AC-DC started playing.

Dean looked over at emmanuel and both of them laughed.

"Since we listened to that song in the car. I can't stop listening to all of their songs"emmanuel chuckled

"I'm teaching you well"

"Yes you are" emmanuel kissed Dean before they went back to cleaning.

\-----

Emmanuel's wedding was tomorrow and dean was fairly upset. He and emmanuel hadn't really talked about it. Dean didn't want him to marry daphne obviously. He was just lost about what to do. Emmanuel doesn't remember his life as castiel but he does know that that's who he used to be. Dean can't figure out how to get his memories back, maybe if he could he wouldn't have to do what he was about to do to emmanuel.

Dean: can we talk?

emmanuel didn't reply for a while and dean was biting his thumb as he waited for a reply. Sam was sat with him on the sofa and was watching dean bite his thumbnail and stare at the floor.

"Are you alright?"sam asked

Dean shot his head up to look at sam "yeah"

"Alright. Have you seen emmanuel lately?, he hasn't been over for a while"

"No. He's been busy"

"Doing what?"

"Planning his wedding"

"Oh yeah"

Emmanuel: you want to meet me?

Dean: yes please

Emmanuel: I'll be at the diner

Dean: I'll be there in ten minutes

Dean got up and walked out of the house and then drove to the diner.

He walked in and saw emmanuel sat over in the corner. He walked over to him smiling. Emmanuel noticed him and smiled up at him.

"Hello dean"

"Hey"

He sat down next to him and emmanuel pushed a plate with a slice of pie over to him.  
"You know me too well"dean smiled and started eating

"Are you alright dean?"emmanuel asked

"Yeah. Listen. You know how yesterday you told me that you feel different with me"

"Yes ofcourse Dean"emmanuel smiled and when Dean didn't smiled back his own smile fell "I sense that's not what you came here to talk to me about"emmanuel sounded worried

"No. Can we go somewhere else?"

Dean and emmanuel both walked out of the diner and walked to the river which ran behind it. They sat on a bench along the bank.

"It is about the wedding?"emmanuel asked

Dean nodded.

"Dean.."

"Just listen to me cas"dean interrupted

"I am so happy that you remember who you are because we've had some amazing moments haven't we? Even though you don't have any of the memories before the lake. We've had a lot of fun now but me and you cas, we're each others dirty little secret"

"Why do I feel like this is goodbye?"

Emmanuel turned to dean on the bench. Deans eyes were watering.  
"Because it is"

"No Dean. You just called me cas and it felt right" emmanuel grabbed deans hands" it feels like me. Emmanuel isn't me now. I want those memories back Dean"

"I don't know how to do that cas"

"Be with me now. I can be cas again. I don't need to remember before, we can start from now and Dean and cas, no more emmanuel"

Dean school his head with years will falling from his eyes"You have a nice life here cas. You got out of the crap and pain and sadness that comes with the Winchesters. I want you to marry daphne and continue the life you deserve. A life I could never have"

"Dean. Don't do this to me" emmanuel started crying as he gripped onto Deans jacket trying to hold him forever

"Im sorry. I have to let you go cas, I have to"

They both hugged and then dean stood up.  
"Will you at least come to the wedding?"

"Yeah. I'll come as my last goodbye"

Then dean walked away and back to the impala. He drove to Bobby's and walked right through the house. Sam and Bobby sat in the couch and watched dean as he barely noticed them to go upstairs.

"What's wrong with him?"bobby asked

"I don't know. He's barely been here lately"

"Hey"bobby said but paused "You don't think he's been seeing emmanuel do you?"

"Maybe. What are you suggesting?

"I mean as friends you idjit"

Sam nodded and felt a little embarrassed.

A few hours later dean ran down the stairs. He was carrying a huge pile of clothes and he dropped them on the table in the kitchen. Sam and Bobby went in to see what was going on.

"Dean. What are you doing?"bobby asked

"Oh hey guys listen"dean sniffled and started pulling clothes from the bag

"Dean?"sam asked

Dean ignored him and pulled out what sam could see where their FBI suits.

"Alright the wedding is tomorrow. Now, me and sam can wear out FBI suits. Bobby I found yours. You are coming right?"

Bobby nodded with shock plastered over his face.

Dean was rushing around as if he was drunk. Sam knew he wasn't though, drunk dean wasn't like this. Dean was rushing around as if he was happy. Sam noticed it was Deans cover up. His eyes were red as if he'd been crying.

Dean rusted over with a handful of different coloured ties. He held each colour up to Bobby's neck and then sam's. Sam and Bobby gave each other a confused look.

"Dean. Are you okay?"sam asked

"Hmmm. You should wear a red tie, suits you"dean smiled

"Bobby do you have a black tie?"dean asked as he rushed back to the table

"Dean"sam said

"I looked everywhere but couldn't find one. Maybe I could go to the store"

"Dean"sam said again

"No, no its too late now. Stores will be closed"dean continued to ignore sam

"Dean!"bobby yelled

Dean turned to Bobby.  
"What?"he shouted

"What the hell are you doing?"

Dean chuckled "just getting ready for the big day Bobby. Emmanuel and daphne are getting married tomorrow"

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?"

Bobby walked to dean and put a hand on his shoulder.  
"Dean. Talk to us"

"There's nothing to say"dean sighed

"We know you must be upset. We know how you feel dean"sam said

Dean picked up his keys and headed towards the door.  
"Where are you going?"sam asked

"To buy a black tie"dean said angrily


	5. Never forget you chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is emmanuel and designers wedding day but things don't go entirely to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter emmanuel starts being called castiel again. I hope it's not confusing to everyone. Enjoy!

It was the day of the wedding. Dean had gotten up early and sat on the sofa for hours just watching the tv. His mood had changed since the last night. He was now moody and sad. He eventually got dressed into his suit and thought about not going to the wedding at all. But then he remembered it was the last time he would see cas and he had to go, he owed him that.

Sam and Bobby were still worried about dean. They got into their suits and drove to the venue. It was the church were daphne worked. People were outside waiting to go in.

They got out of the impala and headed towards the crowd. Sam and Bobby shared a look, dean was walking infront of them and looking around, as if looking for someone. Then sam saw emmanuel talking to two men. Dean stopped and turned to look away from emmanuel. He turned to face sam and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Are you alright dean?"bobby asked

Dean nodded and forced a smile.

Emmanuel started walking over.  
"Emmanuel's coming"sam said

Dean took a deep breath and then turned back around.

Emmanuel did a half smile as his eyes focused on dean. Once he reached them, he stopped infront of them all.

"Hello"he smiled "Im glad you all came"

"Couldn't say no to wedding cake"bobby laughed

Emmanuel smiled. "You can go in now"

Emmanuel led dean, sam and Bobby into the church behind everyone.

"Dean, could you help me with something first?"emmanuel asked

Dean looked at sam and Bobby and then nodded at emmanuel.

"You are both sat on the front row, left hand side"emmanuel said as sam and Bobby walked into the church.

He and dean then walked into one of the other rooms which was full of tables and chairs, dean guessed it was where the party was being held. Emmanuel closed the door behind them and then walked up to dean.

"Everything okay?"dean asked

"No"emmanuel sighed "I don't know what to do anymore dean"

"What are you talking about?"

Emmanuel took a step to dean and put his hands on his stomach. Dean looked down at them and then back to emmanuel.

"I don't know if I want to marry her"

"Then what are you going to do?"

"Tell me dean. Tell me you want me and I won't marry daphne"

Dean looked into emmanuel's eyes. His blue eyes that were now filled with tears. Like an ocean. Dean grabbed emmanuel's hands and held them.

"Goodbye emmanuel"

Dean walked away and went back to sam and Bobby. He sat down and took a deep breath.

"You okay dean?"bobby asked

Dean nodded and forced a smile.

Minutes later emmanuel walked into the room and stood at the alter. He spoke with the priest for a second then he locked his eyes with Deans.

Then there was a loud bang daphne ran into the room. She was wearing her wedding dress but her mascara was smudged on her eyes. As if she'd been crying.

"Where is he?!"she asked yelled towards emmanuel.

She saw dean and looked angry as she ran over to him. Once she reached him she started hitting him"I knew there was something happening". Emmanuel pulled daphne away from dean 

"What the hell was that?"sam asked

"I have no idea"dean replied in shock

Dean sam and Bobby all went out of the room and into the room where emmanuel took daphne. She was crying heavily and stood next to a woman. Emmanuel was trying to touch her but she pushed him away.

"Stay away from me?"she yelled

"What's wrong with you daphne?"

Daphne took a second to wipe her eyes then she stood infront of emmanuel.

"Is it true?"she asked and glanced at dean "where you sleeping with him behind my back?!"she asked as she pointed at dean.

Emmanuel looked at dean for a second before turning back to daphne. He didn't respond and daphne cried even more.

"Holy crap"sam sighed

Dean looked at sam for a second and then Bobby. Both of them were looking at him half with pity, half with disapproval.

Daphne slapped emmanuel across his face.

"How could you do this?!"

Daphne ran out of the room. Emmanuel still hadn't turned around to look at dean, sam or Bobby.

"I saw you making out in the kitchen. How could you both do something like this?"the other woman asked and then walked out of the room

The room was now uncomfortably silent. Dean walked over to emmanuel and stood infront of him. Emmanuel was looking at the ground and crying lightly.

"Cas"dean whispered

Emmanuel slowly looked up at dean. He wrapped his arms around Deans neck and hugged him tight. Dean wrapped his around emmanuels waist.

"I'm sorry"dean sighed

Emmanuel shook his head and then cried into Deans shoulder. "Don't apologise"

\-----

Dean, sam and Bobby took emmanuel back to their house because he couldn't go back to his house with daphne. All of daphne friends and family hate him now, the only friends he ever really had were dean, sam and Bobby and he was sure sam and Bobby hate him.

He sat at the kitchen table with his knees tucked to his chest. He was looking out of the window watching the trees blow in the wind. He was still wearing the suit pants and shirt from his wedding. Bobby walked in and went to the fridge, emmanuel didn't look up that him, and then Bobby sat at the table across from him.

"Emmanuel?"bobby asked

He turned slowly to look at Bobby.  
"You doing alright?"

Emmanuel nodded his head.  
"Castiel...my name is castiel"

"You know who you are?"sam asked as he walked in the kitchen and also sat with them

"Yes. I know that I am castiel, I still have no memories from before the lake."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I told dean"

Sam nodded understandingly.  
"So you know that you're cas"

"Yes, Dean told me that I was castiel"cas nodded "when I was sleeping last night though I had dreams...well, flashbacks"

Whilst cas was talking dean had walked into the room and got a beer from the fridge behind cas' back. Cas didn't look up at him or anything, he felt so guilty now he had his memories back.

"So...what I don't get us, why you are suddenly remembering"

"Its...uh..its complicated"

"Why?"

"Sam he clearly doesn't want to talk about it"dean interrupted

"Actually"cas sighed "It's because the more time I spent with dean, the more I remembered who I was. With him I was cas, with daphne I was emmanuel"

"Wait"bobby said waving his hand at cas "the more time you spend together?"

Cas nodded.

"So. When you told us you met a girl from the bar?"sam paused "was that cas?"he asked Dean

Dean nodded and sighed. He then got uncomfortable and left the room.

"Can I ask you guys something?"cas asked leaning forward

"Sure"bobby replied

"Was dean happy?"

"Since we found you again he's been...the happiest we've ever seen him. Mostly in the last two weeks, until yesterday"sam said

"That was when he told me to marry daphne"cas sighed

"You love him?"bobby asked

Cas nodded "very much"

"Then go and show him"

"How?"

"I don't know. Something he would like, whatever that might be"

"Can you help me...I have an idea?"

Cas, sam and Bobby all walked to the shed where the old pick up truck where he and dean had their first real kiss. He asked Sam and Bobby to help him set up some lights and a blanket, then some picnic food in a basket.

"So why here?"sam asked

"This is where me and dean first...."he paused knowing telling them the real story would make it awkward

"Kissed?"

"Well"cas shrugged

Sam nodded knowing what cas was saying.

"Sorry sam"cas smiled sympathetically

" No that's okay"

Not long later everything was done. It was getting dark outside now. The barn was being lit by the fairy lights hanging on the walls. Bobby said he found then in his 'Christmas things' box.

"Okay. Me and sam and going to the bar. Leave you and dean to it"bobby said

Both he and sam hugged cas and then drove away in Bobby's truck.

Cas walked up to the house and couldn't find dean downstairs. He called out his name but there was no answer. Then he went to the back yard and found dean sat on the stairs, he sat next to him.

"Hello dean"

"Hey cas"

Both of them smiled at each other.  
"Listen cas" dean stood up and walked down the steps and then turned to face cas "I'm sorry. I've screwed up your life, you were happy with daphne. You had friends and a good life and i..."

"Dean"cas interrupted putting a hands on deans chest.

"Cas"

Cas then put his hand over Deans mouth to stop him talking.  
"Stop dean"

He moved his hand and then grabbed Deans.  
"I have something to show you"

Cas pulled dean by his hand to the car shed. Dean walked in and saw all the lights.  
"What is this?"

"Sam and Bobby helped me. I wanted to show you that I am sorry"

Dean turned to face cas. He looked down at him and smiled "for what cas?"

"I should have chosen you sooner. I left it too long. I tried to ignore it, but I should have chose you a long time ago"

"That's not on you"

"You're not angry with me?"

"No. You should be angry with me, I ruined your wedding"

"No. It wasn't love. You didn't ruin a real wedding, you stopped a fake one"cas smiled "besides it took two of us to tango"

Dean laughed "Let's never say that again" and cas laughed with him.

Cas took dean over to the blanket and they both sat down. Cas pulled out burgers from the basket and they both started eating.

They talked about anything they could think of. Both kept apologising to each other.

After they were done eating cas took out his phone and turned on a familiar song.

Shook me all night by AC-DC.

Dean laughed and shook his head "really?"

"Really"cas nodded

He stood up and pulled dean up. "This isn't the kind of song you dance to cas"

"Shut up dean"cas chuckled

Cas linked his fingers of both hands in Deans. He put the side of his head to Deans. Then dean released one hand and stroked cas' back with it.

"She was a fast machine. She kept her motor clean. She was the best Damn woman that I ever seen. She had the sight less eyes. Telling me no lies. Knockin' me out with those American thighs"cas sang to dean softly "taking more than her share. Had me fightin' for air. She told me to come but I was already there"

Dean smiled widely as cas sang to him.

"Cause the walls start shaking. The earth was quaking. My mind was acheing. And we were making it and you-"

"Shook me all night long" both of them sang together.

Cas moved back and pressed his forehead to Deans.  
"Thank you dean"

"What for cas?"

"Not giving up on me when I didn't know who I was"

Dean smiled "You're more than welcome"

Dean leaned down and kissed cas. It felt like it was the first even though they kissed many times before. It was like their first proper kiss as dean and castiel


End file.
